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Personal Stories
Jim’s Story
Updated 7/30/04
The day my new life began. July 10,1991 about 4 AM. I was a full time Engineer, EMT-D, Fireman with Missoula Rural Fire District, Missoula, Montana.
On July 10, at about 2:25 AM I was alerted via my pager, to an Industrial Fire at Gallager Cedar Products, a local cedar mill. I grabbed my video camera as I put on my fire gear and responded from my home nearby. At the scene I proceeded to fight fire until about 10 fire trucks with many men arrived. So I took videos for awhile. After awhile they needed more water. I volunteered to take a 4,000 gal. Watertender to an already set up waterfill site a couple miles down the road. With Redlights going all the while I filled the water tender; at the hydrant which was about 200 ft. from RR Crossing. Now weighing about 59,000 lbs., I then started to head back to the fire.
In the next few seconds my life changed forever.
A train, which I did not see, hit the passenger side of my firetruck. It pushed the whole tanker approximately 200 ft. down the tracks and into the barrow pit.
A few points here to say why I'm here today.
1. Habits- I always made a habit of putting my seat belt on. It was on.
2. Turnout gear and helmet.
3. Heavy truck - 59,000 lbs.
4. Short Train.
5. My brother who was a Captain, EMT-D with the same Department on the same fire; rode in the ambulance to the hospital. Recognizing a head injury he requested permission from ER Doc to have onboard nurse give an injection of a new medication out that stopped brain swelling because of trauma. Permission granted.
· I was transported unconscious to St.Patrick Hospital on via an ambulance, to the ER and later admitted to ICU. I was in a semi-coma for about 7 days. After 7 days when I was able to breath on my own and swallow on my own; I was transferred to Community Rehab Center for about 2 months for extensive rehab, like learningto talk and walk all over again.
· While in ICU, I told my wife to just pull the plug. I decided I didn’t want to live. I pulled all of my IV’s and catheter out 2 times. A short while after I was in Rehab I decided to quit eating and lost about 40 lbs. I went from 210 to about 170. I then had surgery to put in a Peg-tube to feed me.
· I went through some of the typical stages of head injury; not talking, then talking but cussing a blue streak, not walking, then learning how to walk all over like a baby; not sleeping, etc. They say I was a very combative and would not stay in bed so they put my bed on the floor. My wife tells me I was climbing up the wall and looking out the window. Oh!! So beautiful out there. At that point I apparently decided to stick around and work my way back to health. They gave my bed back; but I would let the side down and crawl out to the nurses station at night so they kept me in a Houdini-Jacket at night. Damn straight jacket. My brain finally healed enough to allow me to behave and stay in bed. So I moved on with my Rehab of learning to balance, walk, read etc..
· My brain injury was right in the middle of my brain where messages cross over. It affected my right hand and left leg. And a handful of other deficits; like poor short term memory, breathing right, swallowing and balance.
· I didn't remember anything for about 6 weeks. I became aware of my scenario little by little. They taught me to walk and talk again. They brought me home in a wheel chair the first couple of times and told my wife they didn't know if I would progress out of this stage. Thank God I moved on.
· After a few months my taste went away. I couldn't tell you if I was chewing on a steak or an orange. My Dr. said it would probably never return. Phew!!! Thank God he was wrong. It came back after a couple months.
· WC cut me off of my PT at about 2 years and said I was MMI (Maximum Medical Improvement). I have been doing my own PT about 3 times a week at the same club for an additional 4 years and that has proved very worthwhile. Not only physically but socially, speech and cognitively. Now 13 years post injury; I'm not maxed yet.
· After about a year of Speech, Occupational and Physical therapy, they turned me over to my own Fitness. At 13 years post injury I still try to maintain going 3 times a week.
· I had a Speech Therapist come to my home for awhile to help me learn how to breath properly and speak clearer. My brain still does not tell when to swallow so I choke and cough often because food or saliva backs up in a little shelf we all have in our throats. I have gone as long as two hours after a meal and coughed up a particle of food.
· After having been a previous member; I rejoined Toastmasters International in about 1995 and this move has been very instrumental in helping my speech. The concept of repetition…… and constructive feedback at my own pace. I believe it is what makes Toastmasters so effective for my TBI Rehab. I highly recommend this organization for anyone trying to improve communication skills and leadership.
· My memory still has a lot of holes in it. Mostly short term memory deficits.
· I don't work or drive. Primarily because of my slow processing speed as well as my multi tasking deficits.
· One of my biggest assets was my positive attitude. It helped me through many obstacles in Rehab and I feel that even today 7/30/2004; it continues to be a strong asset.
· I'm a strong believer in setting little goals to make small progress toward getting back to some degree of normal functioning.
· One of my biggest challenges is to be the man my wife married. I know that I have changed but hopefully there is enough good parts left plus some new assets that I am worth saving for awhile (grin). The same is true for the rest of my family. Hopefully again there are enough assets so that I can contribute to each of their lives.
· My TBI has been a most trying experience. My wife has stood by me and I really tested our wedding vows. She has been an inspiration beyond words. Thank you Honey!! Thank you God!!
· My four boys have been a real motivation to much of my rehab. At the time of my accident they were 4,9,12 and 16. Now 18, 22, 25 and 30; they make me a very proud father and grandfather. My grand daughter is now 16 months old.
At 13 years post injury I still try to maintain going to an athletic club 3 times a week.
"Superman"
This term was given to me by MRFD volunteers when they gave me a T-shirt with a big S on front and on the back it says, "I not as fast as a speeding bullet but I can stop a train." Not recommended by me.
· I know that life for me will never be what it used to be; however with optimism and direction I can climb many a mountain.
After 11 ½ years post TBI; I strongly urge anyone recovering from BI to keep an open mind to continuing Rehab on your own forever. Your family and friends don’t stop learning at a given age why should you? I believe I will continue my rehab until I die. The key is becoming aware of some of your deficits and then developing a supreme desire to make improvements.
I don’t work or drive. Even though I know that I can do both; because of my TBI and slow reactions as well as a few other deficits. I choose to take the safer way.
I’m the Chief Instigator in 2 Brain Injury Support Groups here in Missoula, which gives me a great deal of challenges. It is very rewarding to see other survivors helping each other move forward.
I’m continuing my Rehab in Toastmasters and have held nearly all of the Officer positions. It still continues to be one of my best Rehab resources for improving my memory, communication and leadership skills. There’s a club in your area; ask me!
I volunteer 3 days a week at one of our local hospitals working with folks in the Rehab Unit who have Brain Injuries or Strokes and other traumas.
My role being a husband, father and manager of myself still continues to be a everlasting challenge for a survivor of Brain Injury. I daily challenge myself to be just a little bit better.
Email Jim