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Personal Stories
Do You...?
By Lori Bray
Do you know what it is like to be in a fatal car wreck and be the lucky survivor?
Do you have the imagination to imagine what it is like to wake up every day as someone you don’t really know?
Do you know what it is like to find yourself in situations where your response surprises you as much as those around you?
Do you know what it is like to sit and watch yourself as if you were a complete stranger sitting across from yourself?
Do you know what it is like to try to stay on task and find yourself jumping around within the confines of your mind?
Do you know what it is like to exist in an environment without stimuli to move you along the way?
Do you know what it is like to wait with hope and despair for “you” to walk back into your body?
Do you know what it is like to rely on others for every single need you used to provide for yourself?
Do you know what it is like to lose your ability to run, jump, dance, sing or move on command?
Do you know what it is like to scare yourself because you can’t stop fear from taking over in your mind?
Do you know what it is like to watch life pass you by as you endlessly grab for a hand on the way down and come up short?
Do you know what it is like to have others glance at each other when you try to explain what’s going on in your mind?
Do you know what it is like to be the center of the secret that everyone around you seems to be sharing?
Do you know what it is like to sit in silence, alone, with no one to talk to, so you start to talk to paper that you never send off, not even to yourself?
Do you know what it is like to have lost the “you” you were just starting to appreciate?
Do you know what it is like to sit without movement for hours upon hours, lost somewhere in the past?
Do you know what it is like to have nightmares so graphic and violent you wake yourself up screaming, bathed in cold sweat?
Do you know what it is like to start your day out with an hour of tears from the nightmare you lived through during the night?
Do you know what it is like to look in the mirror and not have the memory of who you once were?
Do you know what it is like to keep the faith that someday you will find the bits and pieces of you that you lost and reclaim them as yours?
Do you know what tenacity is?
Are you familiar with desire?
Are you a fighter or are you satisfied to just be alive?
Are you afraid?
Be thankful.
Copyright 2004 Lori Bray